Tomorrow

So here I am just thinking about my brother. And hopefully I won't get too sappy for you but I'm writing how I really feel.

I got to see Jeanna yesterday after she returned from Wisconsin for my brother's 4 day pass. They got to spend some good quality time together and I'm very glad for that. They are a wonderful couple and I can't wait for the day she officially becomes part of our family. We talked for a little bit and she told me some funny stories from the weekend and then Ivy and I went home. We sat at home and ate dinner together as a family and then watched Pinocchio before Ivy's bath and bedtime. And since my brothers 4 day pass is up we knew that his ship date wasn't far behind. And although we knew it would be soon, in the back of my mind I was kind of ignoring it. I would tell myself "Maybe they'll give him a couple of more weeks of training." I was just lying to myself but he's my baby brother and I want to believe that something was going to happen that would mean he got to stay here, in America. America, the greatest country on earth, the country where we know we are free, the country he will be fighting for.

So I allowed myself to be blind and pretend it wasn't happening. Then I got a text from Jeanna last night just before 8:00. All it said was "He leaves on the 20th." I caught my breath, the 20th...as in 2 days away! I was no longer blind, I looked at Chris and told him, then I looked at Ivy as she was hypnotized by Pinocchio. How do I make her understand? She's been so sweet through all of this, Clifford taught her how to go and pat someone on the back when they were crying and tell them "Awe, It's okay, Smile!" She's been really great with his dog, Keira, who acts very depressed sometimes without him. She'll go lay on the floor with Keira and pet her and say "Awe, Keira misses her Daddy, it's okay Keira." And then the other day she looked at my Mom and said "Where's Cliffy?" Mom explained "Remember he went to march Ivy." And then she would ask me whenever we were going to Mom's house. "Uncle Cliffy be there?" to which I respond "No baby he went to march and he's going to be gone a long time." And she'll reply "He left on the plane."

Stupid Planes!

I got a skype account last Thursday and I got to talk with him on Friday. It was great to actually see him! Then we did it again Sunday evening so that Ivy could see him. Once she figured out what was going on she FLIPPED OUT! She didn't know what to do! She would drop her jaw and wave her hands frantically and then look at me and cover her mouth and giggle and then she would squeal with delight. She did that over and over for about 3 minutes I swear and then she finally calmed herself down enough that he quit laughing hysterically and of course Mom and I were about to cry. She was so excited to talk to him and I think it made his day too. She talked and laughed and even had me put the computer on the floor so she could show him how she danced. Such a sweet girl and she loves her Uncle and now she wants to talk with him everyday. As you can see from the picture that Clifford and Jeanna took while skyping with Ivy she was moving her arms frantically.

Then I'm sitting at work this morning and I hear my cell phone buzz. Usually I'm getting a picture or video of Ivy from Mom. But it was another text from Jeanna. Nothing bad popped in my head, I just assumed she had something funny to tell me. Then I opened the text message "They're leaving tomorrow now, just to let ya know." Now if there is anything can make me go from being hungry and thirsty, straight to headache, nausea, and instant hysterical crying it's that.

He leaves in 1 day! Seriously! He left July 9th and it's been just under 6 weeks. Seems like it was just yesterday and at the same time it feels like a year ago. I haven't even been able to publish my blog about him leaving yet. I have started it but it's hard to finish it. Trying to find the perfect words for it and the perfect pictures. It's hard to tell that story and feel like I'm doing it justice. The sacrifice that our soldiers make is greater than anything we could ever say or do for them. And the families make sacrifices too. I've always felt for families who have a soldier that is deployed but I never felt like I could say the appropriate thing because I wasn't in there shoes. Now I am and it sucks! Sucks really bad! But despite all of my selfishness of wanting my brother to come home and just be with us I am really proud of him. I'll worry the entire time he is gone but I know he'll do his job and he'll do it well. And I'll continue to pray that he comes home to us safe and sound and that the next year passes quickly.

Say a prayer for our troops.